[Oh, how he wishes his healing factor were back in check-]
But this time, this guy bit my face out of nowhere! With barely any warning, how was I supposed to-
[Perhaps it's hard to tell, considering the mangled state of his face currently, but the wound that has now been torn open by ragged, sharp-edged teeth, had been there previously.
Prior to the current damage.]
Also, getting my shit wrecked, unsexily speaking... Is kind of what I'm paid to do. It's all that I'm qualified to do!
[logically, lumen understands that. but oh how he wishes that rex would just... he sighs softly, and looks back down at the torn hole, and continues to apply the salve.]
[Rex wonders if Lumen would say the same had he learned just about everything.
It's safe to say that during his entire stay in this foggy blip between realms, the young superhero has not been doing very well. As much as he's yearned for freedom and a lighter schedule, being without his abilities has returned him to a vulnerable, self-destructive state.
Or well, vulnerable. He's been making poor choices for quite some time now.]
...Yeah, I'm not very good at keepin' those.
In case you haven't already figured that out by now.
[not really what he wanted to hear, and lumen can't help but feel disappointed and sad. he looks back down at the tools in his kit, unable to hide his expression.]
I'd just like for you to try... when, one day, there's a chance for you to find someone who really depends on you keeping such a promise.
It might not be me, but I want to believe that one day there's going to be someone just for you.
He doesn't wish to speak at length about it, as that relationship is already behind him, and if he does ever get to return home, he will have to watch the love of his life traipse around with a kinder, more powerful superhero... And only have himself to thank for it.
Rex attempts to lighten the mood, smiling with a glint in his eye. Something about his grin isn't quite right, however.
Almost as though he is hurt and trying to hide it.]
[lumen's answering smile is small, brittle, and oh so very sad. he reaches out to take the younger man's hand in both of his own, and squeezes it. he also leans in to give him a kiss on an uninjured part of his face.]
I haven't been nice to you at all, the entire time we've known each other. It was nice to have someone dote on me the way you did, but I always felt guilty that I didn't know how to feel.
[a pause, before he amends:] That I don't know how to feel, taking all of this genuine affection without giving anything back.
[It's so strange to think that he's gotten away with this for so long. Rex closes his eyes, unable to resist the notion that the moment of softness was too short.
There are some people who believe in the power of unconditional kindness. As for Rex, he's never been too sure. There's a part of him that yearns to be better, and then the other, which is far more easier to access. Bitterness and resentment burn with wickedness in the back of his throat, but this time, he falters.
Lumen doesn't deserve one of the superhero's trademark volatile reactions.]
That's okay.
[Rex opens his eyes.]
I'm mostly bad news anyway.
It's probably better for you that we weren't that serious.
Rex has done nothing but avoid mentioning his past mistakes, and that's served him well enough for the time being. He had taken stock of Lumen's subtle cues, silently wondering why the other hadn't wanted more.
The superhero had grown accustomed to having his pick of the lot. Perhaps the lot wasn't very broad to begin with, and that had done him a few favors, but rejection really bites.]
[for once, lumen manages to pick up on the subtleties, and manages to understand what someone is trying to say. and, of course, he knows how to respond, too. perhaps because this is rex, and he's learned what the younger man is really like over the past months.
he gives rex's hand a pat, before he returns to fixing up the man's face.]
It isn't, no.
That's why I want better for you. [better than lumen.] You should find someone nice, but is neither feeble nor a pushover.
[This is where Rex would usually chime in with a quippy remark, about how neither of those things mattered- He'd take a feeble pushover who found him attractive and would laugh at his jokes anyday.
Well, maybe.
If his powers had never left him, he'd definitely have stuck to avoiding normies completely, in part because of a haughty outspoken clause that he was somehow better than them, but really masking the worry that he'd hurt them accidentally.]
Yes, though it's not just me-- many people have agreed. [he says that like it's not such a big deal... but it is to him. lumen is well aware that he's weak, with no social skills. no skills at all, really, outside of what little medic ability he has.
even the gauze he attaches to rex's face, lumen thinks he could do better with.]
[Rex, to some degree, can understand how heavily the criticism of others weighs upon the psyche. All the individual voices are there, even when the owners aren’t present, criticizing, chipping away at the edges of the soul.]
You can’t just let other people tell you who you are!
[When it comes to being gentle, Rex feels terrible at it.]
They don’t know the whole story.
Maybe their version of shit is a lot better than you could do yesterday! That’s progress, right?
[lumen reaches out and grips his shoulder. even when he's being firm, he takes measures not to actually hurt anyone.]
It's all right, Rex. They say nothing that I haven't known about myself for years. [still, he feels a little... glad? that rex is so insistent on fighting these supposed misconceptions.]
[Rex opens his mouth to protest once more, tongue hanging in the balance. If he'd have listened to his own naysayers, he would have been dead over ten years ago. Hell, he still has so many. Just twenty minutes of actively ingesting the comments from reddit-trolls and losers with cheeto-stained fingers would have him jumping out the window... That is, if HQ had them.
He can't quite bring himself to admit it, however.]
Um... Is it bad that I don't really care?
I just want them to go away.
[A beat passes.]
I have, or, well... Had a healing factor. Stuff like this would close up and disappear in a couple of hours!
[lumen smiles softly, taking rex's hand once more to squeeze it.]
I'm sorry. I know you would rather be ready right now, and I could have used my power to make it so... But I think you should just rest more. [and stay out of trouble, he doesn't say.
[There comes an overwhelming wash of despair, of sadness, that Rex contains within his body. He stiffens his shoulders and straightens his neck, hand going slack in Lumen's grasp, in the futile hope that the staunch lack of curvature in his shoulders will give away how dejected he feels.
No, whatever it was between them isn't... What he had hoped for, sure, but it was an escape for a time. Something that wasn't sitting at home alone in the dark, wondering if his desire to amount to something more would be thwarted forever.]
I'd actually like for you to stick around. [he pushes his tools aside.]
I want to monitor your condition, and... Well, I want to look out for a friend more.
[even if he just rejected rex, he still considers the man a friend. a close friend. even if romance isn't on the cards, he loves the man as a friend, and wants to do his best.]
[Sensitivity is not easy for Rex, who hardly understands the nature of friendship, much less that formed between two people who are not partners in combat. Somehow, his bad attitude and nasty words are more easily forgiven when he's played a part in keeping someone else alive.
To add insult to injury, following the double-edged sword that was the birth of his explosive skill set, he's never really been rejected before, especially romantically. Not prior to doing something heinously stupid. In some ways, he's seen this coming, he should have expected it, and yet it still hurts.]
Yeah?
[He turns to the side, posturing, scowling. Rex places a tense hand on his own knee, burying gloved fingers in the synthetic fabric. Despite the seemingly abrupt change in attitude, he's obviously still melancholy, but anger has always been easier to lean into than sadness.
Rage burns hot, fiery, and so it too can destroy the things around him.
Sadness just bores holes inside. The damage it does seems far more... Self-wrought. Or at least, that's how he sees it.]
[rex did ask him to be honest... but lumen really doesn't know how to lie for his own good, and thus he can only give a small, pained smile. then he turns his hand on his knee, palm up. an invitation, if his friend wants to take it.]
Both.
It's a big house, and I'm all alone. You live far from here, and it's a long walk.
[There Lumen goes, with his innocent goo-goo eyes and naivete. Something about it is almost disgusting, primarily because the fishy lad really is being honest, and Rex knows.
He huffs and puffs, blowing hot air out of his nostrils and saying nothing. The younger of the pair crosses broad arms over his chest, sending a dirty look his companion's way, only to wordlessly fall back and plop his head into Lumen's lap.
Following what is probably several minutes of silence-]
[lumen smiles down at him, laughing softly as he gives his friend a pat on the head, being very careful to avoid the bandaged spots.]
Do you plan to stay the night? [a standard question from lumen-- it's like nothing ever happened. but lumen has a point to make, and that's the fact that he won't treat eex any differently just because he's officially turned the youngner man's affections down. he still considers rex a friend, and will still offer him all the comforts that he has.]
![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rexyboi
no subject
[Oh, how he wishes his healing factor were back in check-]
But this time, this guy bit my face out of nowhere! With barely any warning, how was I supposed to-
[Perhaps it's hard to tell, considering the mangled state of his face currently, but the wound that has now been torn open by ragged, sharp-edged teeth, had been there previously.
Prior to the current damage.]
Also, getting my shit wrecked, unsexily speaking... Is kind of what I'm paid to do. It's all that I'm qualified to do!
no subject
Work is work and leisure is leisure... I...
Please value yourself more.
no subject
Rex is quiet for a moment. Honesty is difficult.]
Aaaaah.
Pot calling the kettle black over here!
Isn't the same supposed to go for you, too?
no subject
I know. I've been doing my best, even if sometimes, I must choose another person over myself.
So please. [he gives the man a squeeze.] Promise me the same? You're important, too.
no subject
It's safe to say that during his entire stay in this foggy blip between realms, the young superhero has not been doing very well. As much as he's yearned for freedom and a lighter schedule, being without his abilities has returned him to a vulnerable, self-destructive state.
Or well, vulnerable. He's been making poor choices for quite some time now.]
...Yeah, I'm not very good at keepin' those.
In case you haven't already figured that out by now.
no subject
I'd just like for you to try... when, one day, there's a chance for you to find someone who really depends on you keeping such a promise.
It might not be me, but I want to believe that one day there's going to be someone just for you.
no subject
He doesn't wish to speak at length about it, as that relationship is already behind him, and if he does ever get to return home, he will have to watch the love of his life traipse around with a kinder, more powerful superhero... And only have himself to thank for it.
Rex attempts to lighten the mood, smiling with a glint in his eye. Something about his grin isn't quite right, however.
Almost as though he is hurt and trying to hide it.]
Oof.
Is this your version of lettin' me down easy?
no subject
I haven't been nice to you at all, the entire time we've known each other. It was nice to have someone dote on me the way you did, but I always felt guilty that I didn't know how to feel.
[a pause, before he amends:] That I don't know how to feel, taking all of this genuine affection without giving anything back.
no subject
There are some people who believe in the power of unconditional kindness. As for Rex, he's never been too sure. There's a part of him that yearns to be better, and then the other, which is far more easier to access. Bitterness and resentment burn with wickedness in the back of his throat, but this time, he falters.
Lumen doesn't deserve one of the superhero's trademark volatile reactions.]
That's okay.
[Rex opens his eyes.]
I'm mostly bad news anyway.
It's probably better for you that we weren't that serious.
no subject
Outside of some misunderstandings at the start, we've only ever been comfortable in each other's presence, right?
[alas, it's not enough for a proper sort of relationship, when one person doesn't truly feel something for the other. it really makes him feel guilty.
rex deserves someone better, anyway.]
no subject
Rex has done nothing but avoid mentioning his past mistakes, and that's served him well enough for the time being. He had taken stock of Lumen's subtle cues, silently wondering why the other hadn't wanted more.
The superhero had grown accustomed to having his pick of the lot. Perhaps the lot wasn't very broad to begin with, and that had done him a few favors, but rejection really bites.]
...Yeah.
But comfortable isn't-
[Love?]
no subject
he gives rex's hand a pat, before he returns to fixing up the man's face.]
It isn't, no.
That's why I want better for you. [better than lumen.] You should find someone nice, but is neither feeble nor a pushover.
[the opposite of lumen, he means.]
no subject
Well, maybe.
If his powers had never left him, he'd definitely have stuck to avoiding normies completely, in part because of a haughty outspoken clause that he was somehow better than them, but really masking the worry that he'd hurt them accidentally.]
Is that how you see yourself?
no subject
even the gauze he attaches to rex's face, lumen thinks he could do better with.]
It's the truth after all.
no subject
You can’t just let other people tell you who you are!
[When it comes to being gentle, Rex feels terrible at it.]
They don’t know the whole story.
Maybe their version of shit is a lot better than you could do yesterday! That’s progress, right?
For you, at least.
no subject
It's all right, Rex. They say nothing that I haven't known about myself for years. [still, he feels a little... glad? that rex is so insistent on fighting these supposed misconceptions.]
There... How are your injuries feeling?
no subject
He can't quite bring himself to admit it, however.]
Um... Is it bad that I don't really care?
I just want them to go away.
[A beat passes.]
I have, or, well... Had a healing factor. Stuff like this would close up and disappear in a couple of hours!
Now I've got no idea how long I'll have to wait.
I guess I'm just kind of... Embarrassed?
no subject
I'm sorry. I know you would rather be ready right now, and I could have used my power to make it so... But I think you should just rest more. [and stay out of trouble, he doesn't say.
but that's heavily implied, isn't it?]
no subject
No, whatever it was between them isn't... What he had hoped for, sure, but it was an escape for a time. Something that wasn't sitting at home alone in the dark, wondering if his desire to amount to something more would be thwarted forever.]
But not here?
[Reluctantly, he adds:]
Then where do I go?
no subject
I want to monitor your condition, and... Well, I want to look out for a friend more.
[even if he just rejected rex, he still considers the man a friend. a close friend. even if romance isn't on the cards, he loves the man as a friend, and wants to do his best.]
no subject
To add insult to injury, following the double-edged sword that was the birth of his explosive skill set, he's never really been rejected before, especially romantically. Not prior to doing something heinously stupid. In some ways, he's seen this coming, he should have expected it, and yet it still hurts.]
Yeah?
[He turns to the side, posturing, scowling. Rex places a tense hand on his own knee, burying gloved fingers in the synthetic fabric. Despite the seemingly abrupt change in attitude, he's obviously still melancholy, but anger has always been easier to lean into than sadness.
Rage burns hot, fiery, and so it too can destroy the things around him.
Sadness just bores holes inside. The damage it does seems far more... Self-wrought. Or at least, that's how he sees it.]
Or are you just lonely?
[He scoffs.]
Be honest.
no subject
Both.
It's a big house, and I'm all alone. You live far from here, and it's a long walk.
no subject
He huffs and puffs, blowing hot air out of his nostrils and saying nothing. The younger of the pair crosses broad arms over his chest, sending a dirty look his companion's way, only to wordlessly fall back and plop his head into Lumen's lap.
Following what is probably several minutes of silence-]
Fine.
I'll stay.
no subject
Do you plan to stay the night? [a standard question from lumen-- it's like nothing ever happened. but lumen has a point to make, and that's the fact that he won't treat eex any differently just because he's officially turned the youngner man's affections down. he still considers rex a friend, and will still offer him all the comforts that he has.]
What would you like for dinner?