himbomb | IC INBOX

_{[ For the first time, Mark hasn’t heard this guy stammer and stutter and act all nervous as much as he is now. But like always, Rex is still an enigma to Mark that he’s trying— a little more desperately— to understand. His confused expression says it all: he has no idea what Rex means. Feel a thing? That’s.. kind of vague.

Feel a thing and don’t like it? Even more confusing. His expression drifts from confused to hard contemplation and before asking for an explanation, which would make more sense, he comes up with his own. ]}

Oooooh. Um. Oh. Here, um.. I’ll give you some space and privacy.

_{[ He’s getting off of the cot? But bringing an animal pelt with him. ]}

I didn’t, uh, um.. I didn’t know you were that sensitive. I’m sorry, man. I was just trying to encourage you. Um. Encourage us, really. I won’t touch you again, I promise.

_{[ THIS IS SO AWKWARD AND NOW HIS EARS ARE TURNING RED.. ]}

Edited 2021-09-22 15:35 (UTC)

[IF REX WAS ANGRY BEFORE-]

W-wha... NO?! HEY!!!!

[Now he is screaming at the top of his lungs, fully humiliated, that high-pitched rasp of his evident. Rex is not one to blush, not usually, not even when he should in most situations, being the kind of take-no-prisoners brand of shameless that he usually is...

But boy is his face red now.]

I MEANT EMOTIONALLY, YOU DUMBASS! What do you think this is, the third grade?! I'm not that easy, come on!

If I was that sensitive I'd be readjustin' my junk constantly. Or at least put in a fuckin' codpiece, holy shit! Though, stuff like that kinda seems like false advertising? And I would feel mega weird about it...

[he shudders thinking of how monster girl embarrassed him in front of the entire superhero community IT'S NOT THAT SMALL???]

_{[ Mark halts when Rex raises his voice like that and blinks a few times, gradually feeling more embarrassment and honestly some anger too. His lips draw tight. ]}

You could have specified that! Oh my God.

_{[ He drops his ass back on the edge of the cot and heaves a sigh. God. EMBARRASSING. He's quiet for a moment as he thinks about what this could imply. Obviously it's not anything like a crush. Rex would never like him in that way, right? ]}

So.. you're feeling like.. maybe you didn't like me at all and now you think I'm okay? And.. maybe that's weird for you cause we never were close.. so it's uncomfortable for you?

_{[ why is it he's smart at the weirdest times ]}

[God forbid... Thankfully, Rex's superpowers have got nothing to do with telepathy, but a crush? On Invincible of all people? God, that'd be hitting rock bottom for sure.]

...Aaaaah.

[Rex looks up at the ceiling of their little encampment, forced to consider a few things. He is, oddly, grateful that Invincible is here. So far, he's done nothing but make quite a few enemies and hooked up with one person. Try as he might to seem macho and independent, Rex is not the solitary sort. Having spent much of his childhood alone, or at least feeling that way, he'd been with Eve, the Teen Team, and now the other Guardians.]

Yeah?

Yeah... That's, um, pretty much it.

Like... We're not supposed to be cool. Not with each other!

_{[ Mark folds one of his legs up onto the cot and turns halfway so face Rex better. ]}

.. Why can't we be cool with each other? I mean, I wouldn't mind it. You've been nice to me when you're not yelling at me. I've told you how much I've appreciated it.

Anyway. I'm interested in us being cool with each other, especially since we're sharing a camp. We're sharing a sleeping space.

Usually people that do that are cool with each other.

[There is such a tender fragility in the air that if one were to reach out and try to grasp it, it would crumble between their fingers. Rex gnaws on his lower lip, averting his gaze from the other boy once more, although he doesn't turn away. He has put up so many walls, so many layers of cement, to keep from hurting that getting in touch with how he's actually feeling has proved difficult on so many occasions.

In the moment, he had even struggled to even provide Eve with an explanation.]

I dunno.

[He sounds defeated. Timid and small.]

You were always just supposed to be...

[Far removed from the lifelong dick-measuring contest that is superhero-dom, Invincible, or Mark as he prefers to be called, really doesn't seem all that bad, and somehow that's even more of a slap to the face than if he were an actual douchebag. He's reeling from a horrible new realization, kind and patient, and is actually tolerable.

It's annoying.]

The competition.

[A symbol, like a thing.

Not a person.]

_{[ It's a realization on Mark's part too; not cause how he feels about Rex is anything like that, but how Rex feels about him. Now all the rudeness makes a lot more sense. Rex was jealous of him? He shouldn't just say it, but it just kind of tumbles out: ]}

You're jealous of me? All along?

_{[ Now Mark is getting comfortable on the cot again, turning to face Rex entirely but sitting criss-cross style. He back pedals. ]}

No, no.. sorry.. I didn't mean to say that. That's may not be what you mean. Sorry. Um. Phew.

_{[ Mark blows a small raspberry and tucks his lips inward, trying to think of something better to say. All along Rex had him in a different category and Mark had no idea. Mark saw him as a colleague and a person; Rex saw him as a threat and a competition. No wonder the older teen is so prickly towards him. ]}

It's okay. I mean, I never saw you like that.. but.. that's because I never really got to know you.

_{[ and probably cause Mark is OP and is seeing the world through a different perspective than Rex. It's probably an insensitive thing to say, but he realizes this and quickly adds on: ]}

I can.. still be your competition..? If you want? Stuff like that can be healthy, and..

_{[ Mark thinks about it a little more, his eyes falling along a patch of animal pelt that is near Rex, but not directly looking at him. ]}

Mm. There's things you are good with that I'm not good with either, so you can be my competition in that way too. Just.. maybe we can be friendly competition instead? You know— I mean.

_{[ A beat. ]}

I can be whatever you want me to be, but I know now that I..
Well, I consider you a friend more than just a colleague now.

[Jealous, envious, what have you. He has and he still is. Hearing Invincible prattle on, in his usual dorky way, is enough to make Rex's blood boil once more. Of course, he himself had been jealous, while the other hadn't so much as considered him as an afterthought. Just another body, not even the type of hero who had stood out, other than for his bad attitude and infidelity.

When the other boy says that, some bullshit about being good at other things, Rex dismisses it entirely. He's just trying to be nice. Asshole! He might as well be honest, or just not say anything.

Rex turns to rest on his stomach and hands.]

You think you're done cryin' for tonight?

[He doesn't mean for it to sound dismissive.

Mark says the word friend and it feels so foreign. Rex has not had a single male friend his age, not a human one anyway, or so he thinks. Robot is just that, supposedly- A robot, made of metal, clearly a person in his own right with thoughts and feelings, but not a boy, a teenager. Rex has surprisingly found it easier to get along with women, if only because the one he's encountered spend an extra few seconds giving him more than just a couple of once-overs.]

_{[ Rex may not mean it that way, but that's how Mark takes it and he exhales slowly, shifting to lie down on his side with his back facing Rex. His teeth are drawing tight from behind his lips. He bites off the words sharply. ]}

Yeah. Sure. I am. I guess. Cause I can just control when I cry and when I don't. I also guess I was wrong when I thought I was in a safe space around you to let those emotions out. Whatever.

_{[ He really hates he is as emotional as he is, so it was pretty freeing to hear someone else tell him to let it out when he can. ]}

Sleep well.

[Perhaps it's not such a bad thing, to still be in touch with one's emotions. Anger, spite, vindictiveness- These are all the feelings that Rex can willingly tap into time and time again, but to keep himself from experiencing real pain, the kind that he lives with on the daily, he blocks so much of it out.]

Look, that's not what I-

[Rex rolls over for the umpteenth time, his voice soft. He reaches out, almost touching the other boy's shoulder, but his hand stops and collapses midway.

It's no use. He's just going to make it worse again.]

It’s not? Okay, then give me one explanation then. Just one. I’ve run my mouth off and trying my hardest to get along with you but sometimes it feels like you are trying your best to push me away.

If that’s the case I’d like to know so I can stop fucking trying.

_{[ OOOH the f word again. Mark remains where he is, though, back facing Rex and as far away from the other hero as much as possible. He’s almost off of the cot at this point. ]}

[Ugh, this is worse than having his brains bashed in. Almost as bad as shitting blood! But you know, that would actually be awful in a place like this, because shitting blood in the woods full of monsters and dead body snatchers just does not sound like a fun time at all.

Very reluctantly, only because he's well aware that without the superhero mantle, a team to fall back on, and a clamoring group of hormonal teens who want his body, he's got very few takers and boy does that information suck.]

Growin' up, I didn't have any guy friends. Fuck, I didn't have any friends, period, okay! There.

[What a loser-y thing to say.]

Even right now, my main fallback guy's Robot! And he's got, like, all of two, maybe three emotions? With the girls if I fuck up I either own that shit or flirt a little bit to get my footing back with 'em, and Samson... God, he's got a major stick up his butt, I dunno, maybe he lost a paternity test and needs to play da-da to man the fuck up or somethin', but uh, as of right now I'm definitely on his shitlist.

[Oof.

That felt wrong to say, even for Rex. He hopes the guy gets out of the hospital soon. Or, well, ever.]

I don't get you, most of the time.

The only time I feel like I do it's... When you're all sad and shit.

_{[ Mark wanted an honest and solid answer and nothing else and Rex certainly gave that to him. Mark's muscles relax as he listens, taking in every word for once. Once he finishes, that gives Mark enough of a reason to turn back around and face him. He's extremely forgiving, isn't he? But it makes sense. Rex has had a rough life so hearing that he never had friends also tracks. Maybe he doesn't know how to behave around another guy his age in a friendship space? ]}

Alright. That's a good explanation.

_{[ He snuggles against his pillow as he keeps his eyes on Rex. ]}

I hope one day you'll be able to get me when I'm happy too.

_{[ And every other emotion he has too. ]}

B..ecause I want to understand you through all the emotions you have.

_{[ There's some odd flutter in his chest when he says this and he's not even sure why he hesitated to say it? But yeah, um. Something feels a little weird now. Mark can't help but force a little chuckle out to try and lighten the mood. ]}

We should really, uh, um.. try to sleep again, yeah? Shouldn't we? Or is there something else you need to say?

[He wishes that he had the strength to keep on keeping, to say something snippy and maintain the facade, but for once he finds himself struggling to even come up with a half-hearted insult.]

No.

[He pulls a furry pelt over his head, nose wrinkling as the sudden incoming stench of animal hide wafts into his nostrils. The redhead steels himself as reality finally hits. Since the split with Eve, Rex has not allowed himself to cry, not with tears, as he's never really had the time. It's sucked, but there's been so many other changes to adjust to, and the opportunity to clown his new and old teammates has given him an outlet of sorts. He was single, but not alone, not so wholly and entirely unlovable that he would be without support.

But here, in just the few all too long and miserable days he's been in this place, he's failed to make a single friend, and the only two people who will tolerate his very existence are a naive greenhorn and a mysterious stranger, who really only wants him for some warm and hot-blooded company. He really had been trying to be better, and he'd sworn that he would, after that giant space monstrosity totaled half the team, but it's difficult to improve when you feel as though you've been stripped of everything that made you worth anything at all.

Rex inhales sharply, letting the tears fall over his cheeks and drip to either side of his face, not bothering to wipe them himself, and taking care not to sniffle. No more, no less, that's just it. Even if sobbing would relieve the pain, let it all wash out in an ugly and miserable disaster-]

I need to get some fucking sleep.

[He's done so much to prove to himself that they were wrong for abandoning him like that.

But what if they weren't? What if there's really nothing to love beneath the misery?

Rex has learned to weep in short bursts and in silence. He hopes that sleep really will come for him soon.]

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