"Eeeeeeeh! You know the drill. You yap and yap and yap until the fuuuuck-in' beepity boop. And who knows? If your voice doesn't annoy the shit out of me, I miiiight just call ya back!"
[ Obi-Wan takes his time to disrobe, then find a place to put his folded clothes, and then take a seat on the wooden planks of the sauna opposite Rex. It gives the boy plenty of time to sullenly find his answer and offer it up, and Obi-Wan seem like he's in no rush to try and usher an answer out of him. What might be more surprising is that when he does finally sit down, he adopts a posture similar to the superhero. One arm slung over the back of the seat, knees splayed wide, at almost complete odds with his relatively crisp outward demeanor. ]
Then why did you say it?
[ He gestures with his left hand, the one not splayed back on the bench, arching an eyebrow wryly. ]
I find it highly unlikely you are looking for pity. Is it meant to be intimidating?
Even he's left to sit and wonder. Rex's mouth moves first, faster than his mind most days, but on the rare occasion that they fire away in tandem, he's usually down to his last explosive.]
It's not intimidation if it's true!
[The grin he sports is wicked, as the memory stings. Radcliffe was the textbook definition of a horrible person, manipulating a disadvantaged child starved of both food and affection, but he had been the first encouraging voice that Rex had ever heard. A part Rex still misses the disgusting bastard.]
[ Obi-Wan disagrees, completely ignoring the last couple of things Rex says to try and get a rise out of him. Instead, he looks calmly across at him and gestures with the hand that is keeping it's perch around his ankle. ]
That fact that you have survived a frankly harrowing childhood makes you tougher than many people who have not lived anything remotely like it. Why shouldn't that be intimidating?
[ He looks away, brushing an imaginary piece of lint off the towel on his lap. ]
It certainly keeps people at a distance, doesn't it?
[It sure does. And for what? He's not the strongest. He can't lift nearly as much as Black Samson or Invincible. He couldn't if he tried.]
Honestly? I think it's more the, uh, winning personality, but! So what if some people can't take the heat? Most of 'em have got shit taste anyway.
[He cracks a smile there, meeting the Jedi's eyes with his own, bowing his head not out of respect, but a bizarre mixture of whimsy and spite. From the outside, it is all hubris, the face of a professional daredevil about to jump into a tank of sharks.
There is pain beneath the surface still, somewhere at his core, the kind of thing that's lasted so long he should be used to it by now, though it flares up time and time again.]
We're all goin' back home anyway, right? Or well, that's the plan!
In the grand scheme of things, all this? Is no. Big. Deal.
[ Obi-Wan regards him for a long moment, the flippant air of his posture and his tone, the seemingly blasé approach to this whole thing. He recalls the genuine concern in the mine, before Obi-Wan's own struggle had gotten the better of him. No big deal, indeed. Underneath this exterior is a very lonely boy. Both of the Jedi's eyebrows cock up, almost sarcastic. ]
Well I suppose you should get comfortable. You'll probably be here for a while.
[Lonely, distrustful, vulgar, and angry- You name it.
That statement in itself is a mixed bag. In Rex's line of work, being out of shape or out of practice may as well be a death sentence. If he gets kicked to the curb or outed from the Guardians he not only would be humiliated, but out of a place to stay, with no housing or educational prospects. For a boy from the lowest rung of society who never managed to graduate the eighth grade, he'd be fucked. Might as well put a bullet to his head at that point, and even then, he is well aware that he'd be likely to survive. Rex, himself, has a pretty solid handle on his body and his abilities- Six months. He has six months to get out of this place otherwise his livelihood is done for, the catch up game will drive him crazy-]
Are you?
[But in an odd way, he is comfortable. This place is unpredictable and annoying at times, but not as dire as his own world. Rex finds himself eating shit less often and enjoying spending time with Mark, with Invincible of all people, and even that makes him wonder.
If people like himself, Eve, Mark, Kate... Even Robot...
What if they were normal people? Would they be having a good time? Would life be just that, comfortable? God, what would it be like? To have your only concerns be who your date for the prom was going be, to know that safety and financial security was guaranteed. That if he wanted, he could apply to some bullshit place like university, and have time, years to figure out whether he wanted to be an accountant or an engineer.]
Comfortable.
Here.
[Rex does not know the meaning of the word as a civilian would.
He may be the team's resident slacker, but even so, he desires greatness.]
[ This isn't the first time he has been asked this question, but taking it into his hands and turning it over, he thinks his answer is different. Comfortable isn't the term he would have used, because when they arrived, he had viewed this as simply another mission. In some respects, he still views it that way, but there is more to it than that.
It has given him the opportunity to meet Cal and help him in his training. It has let him step away from the front of the war — or the end of it, anyway — and remember what it is like to be a person instead of a soldier. More important than anything else, it has let him reconnect with Anakin.
Obi-Wan leans back, pushes his damp hair out of his face and looks up at the hazy wooden planking of the ceiling. The stubborn fringe of his hair stays slicked back for a moment, before falling heavily back against his brow. Is he comfortable? ]
I am... grateful.
[ He admits at length, and closes his eyes, reaching out into the Force to feel the life of the people milling around them beyond the sauna. Reaching out to feel Cal, and Anakin. Reminding himself they are whole and safe. ]
I cannot understate all that I have lost in my timeline. This place has given me opportunities the war never would have allowed. When I return, I doubt anything will change. The wheels in motion cannot be stopped for me — but there are others who may be able to change the course of history with a better understanding of themselves and the world around them.
[ A beat, and he opens his eyes again. ]
Those of us that leave will leave as better versions of ourselves.
[ The suggestion being that, maybe, some of them won't be leaving at all. There were whole civilizations in these train cars. Obi-Wan doesn't think they exist simply as happenstance. ]
[He sounds confused, but makes no comment on the leaving part just yet. Rex has discussed this with another young man like himself- People from every which way are being pulled in and thrust into a dangerous place. There is no guarantee that others will help them, which means that some are bound to be killed in the process.
And that just doesn't sit right with him.]
Why can't you stop them?
[The wheels.
Rex sits, if rather hesitantly, on that thought. He has often struggled with the machinations of his own heart, feeling as though the destructive onslaught of negative emotions and his own bitterness are unstoppable, but what of his time here? Spent with people like Mark, or even Fukawa. It's less difficult to quit being a total asshole when people offer you empathy or understanding, and that seems... Oddly possible now. Especially in the face of greater atrocities.]
I think you can always throw a wrench in the gears.
Like, maybe it won't change the grand scheme of things...?
[Like when and why you're going to die. Or, even more undeniably, if.
But it is the how that matters.]
But you could at least toss that shit in and say, "Fuck it!" Right? Otherwise you're always gonna be sittin' around wondering what could've been.
[ It such an innocent thing to say, and Obi-Wan smiles sadly. Sometimes it is easy to forget how young some of these people are. Rex may be boisterous and exceedingly strong with his powers, but he is still a teenager, caught in the age between Ahsoka and Anakin, both of them with grasping at hope and believing in their own power to alter the course of the universe.
How could he possibly tell Rex that it cannot be stopped because it is quite literally too late? That Anakin has fallen, has had a hand in killing their family? That Palpatine has already taken power, labeled the Jedi as traitors, and single-handedly upended the galaxy as he knew it? All he can do now is go to Mustafar and pray he and Padmé will be enough to bring him to his senses. For if the two of them cannot, all will be lost. ]
He knows that he, one person, can't throttle the necks of corporate scum and force them to hand over their millions to the kind of children that suffered like he did. His identity must be kept a secret to keep that invisible target from being beamed into the center of his forehead, but he is living proof that heroes can come from anywhere. Anyplace, any time, any corner of the universe...
Even nothing. And that is something, is it not?]
...Eh, not exactly.
[Honesty is the key to... What the fuck was it? Improvement? Growth?]
But I'd like to.
[He says that not knowing the misery he will be subjected to soon. And yet, in spite of that, he will live up to those words.
[ Obi-Wan regards him for a long, even moment, watching as he works through his thoughts to come out the other side. It's an honest answer, Obi-Wan can see it in his expression even if he couldn't feel it in the Force around them. He thinks of how he approaches these situations, his abundance of caution and his tendency to think ahead instead of in the moment. His Master had always said he had more trouble with the Living Force than other aspects of it. A great leap forward often requires taking two steps back., he had said once to Anakin, to which his friend had replied: ]
To make a great leap forward, sometimes all it takes is the will to jump.
[Jumping, or the art of it, was a skill he had mastered before ever gaining superpowers. Parkouring over cars, losing police officers, and taking the "long way" home with stolen groceries hidden under his ill-fitted jackets... That had been the state in which Radcliffe had found him, and if fate didn't change the course of his life, it would have been where he had stayed. That road, Rex's original path, would have lead to incarceration, starvation, or being hit by the wrong bullet. Funny how, even if he were to be shot square in the head at close range, he'd be able to survive that now.]
I'm always jumping.
[If one were to peek into the recesses of Rex's mind, a recurring scene, an image that would play over and over, would be that of him crouching on a levitating scooter, piloted by Robot, bracing himself for a hundred foot drop, amidst screams and fires and explosions. The height just doesn't phase him anymore, and in some ways, neither does the danger.]
That's my whole life.
I've never really had a choice.
[Rex doesn't say this to garner pity or recognition, with no inkling of the intimidating tone he mustered up before. For the others, they have had their safe, middle-class lives, their loving parents and suburban houses. His childhood home, if one could even call it that, was an abandoned building with a rotting foundation. Rex hadn't thought much of deeds and ownership at the time, but he knows now- His family had been squatting.]
If I stand still? Me? I'd be guaranteed a date with the Grim Reaper.
So, I jump. He misses my ankle by an inch, and I live to see tomorrow.
[He eyes the Jedi with a look of genuine bewilderment. What would it be like? To simply exist without signing your life away to protect the Earth? If he were to retire from being a superhero, he-]
What's it like to be able to stay in one place? Don't ask me! I couldn't tell ya.
[Would not only be unfulfilled, but utterly and royally fucked.]
[ Obi-Wan lifts both eyebrows at that, listening to the way Rex interprets the words. What it says about him, about his thoughts. He doesn't refute the feeling behind it, or even the words themselves. Undoubtedly Rex believes exactly what he says; he can't see any other way to live. Any other way forward.
Obi-Wan believed in that concept much more firmly before he ended up here with Anakin, and Cal.
But knowing what he knows of this train now, how it is designed to challenge them, and hearing what Rex says leads him to one conclusion. ]
Well, perhaps that's exactly what the train brought you here for.
Brought me here? Ugh! Who knows if any of this was intentional? Portals open up and people bloop through dimensions all the time. Well, maybe not all the time, but it happens!
[He's encountered it at least four times prior, although this is the first incident where he's the one who's been displaced in such a manner.]
Also? Who gave this Clownductor bastard the right to judge me?! I bet if that dude was in my place, he wouldn't have survived this long! He might have even gone full-on super villain, I know I almost did.
Sure, I could do to be a better person. That's true for anybody! But what if I didn't have superpowers, or know what it's like to survive with limited resources? I'm surprised more people aren't dead right about now. I get that we're supposed to help each other, but not everybody has the time or energy for that.
And why should they, if they're barely makin' ends meet? Some days, bein' alive just feels like a curse.
You are correct, the Clownductor will never fully understand your experience. What you went through, what you had to endure.
[ For in Obi-Wan's mind, this whole business is the will of the Force, and the Force does not seek good or evil, it seeks balance. There are absolutely people here who would not have survived some of those cars without someone else, but that was the point. The journey, not the destination. ]
And I do not think that is the point.
You are here, having these experiences, whether you like it or not. If you are always jumping, as you say, then why not jump into this as well?
[He could concede Obi-Wan's point, which would be a miserable realization, so instead he racks his brain for an answer.]
'Cause my legs hurt?
[That they do.
Physically, Rex's skeleton has been altered to sustain incredible amounts of damage, sure. But since it had been normal before, and was designed without Rex's own well-being in mind, that means his joints are prone to hurting from time to time, especially after constantly being pushed to their limits. Most of the pain is concentrated in his lower back, however.
Metaphorically speaking, a lot of the time he wishes that someone else would just take his hand and pull him forward. Eve had tried and he had betrayed her.
He's on his own now.]
Some of the other guys just look like they have it so easy.
Obi-Wan doesn't even know if Rex realizes what he's doing, the confession disguised as a joke. A first step in the direction he wants but is terrified to go.
He leans forward to pour another scoop of water on the steamer between them, his voice even, factual: ]
It always seems that way when we are working alone.
[Rex, in his rawest, pulpiest emotional states, is often quick to anger. The defensive mechanism is pure instinct at this point, an emotional reflex.]
I work on a team most of the time, and I still feel like... When it comes down to it? It's just me!
[Now that he no longer has his beautiful, perfect girlfriend to hold his hand and drag his sorry ass out of the mud. Her gentle hands will wipe his tears away and deal with his temper tantrums no longer.
Oh, and who is to blame for that?
Steam blows in front of his face, and yet all he can see is red.]
[ He admits exactly to Obi-Wan's point as passion envelops him. Being on a team doesn't mean you feel like you're part of it, and even without the admission Obi-Wan could have pinpointed this in the young superhero.
Therefore, he doesn't add anything, following a hunch to allow Rex to unwind the rest of the tape wrapped up in his mouth. Instead, he takes his time with the steamer and sits back to look back across at him with infinite, collected patience devoid of any shred of pity. ]
[Rex looks away, nose wrinkling, lines forming around his mouth.
He folds his arms like an impudent child, realizing what he's just confessed to. It's not as though he doesn't trust the other Guardians. Wildly enough, following an initial onslaught of unpleasant barbs accompanied by an outright dismissal of authority, Rex had done his best to keep the team together in his own way. Samson has the demeanor of a drill sergeant and Robot's hyperfixation on productivity lacks a human element. In that regard, Rex at least understands how to kick back and connect on a personal level... When he actually tries.
Still, without Eve, things just don't feel the same.
[ Each man copes in his own way, but Obi-Wan has a sense Rex has never been offered the opportunity to even try something other than to keep staggering forward, carrying everything with no break. Maybe it makes a certain kind of sense that his affinity would be explosive — this much feeling bottled up with no outlet is eventually going to explode.
In lieu of saying anything, Rex retreats into himself. Obi-Wan, leaning back with one ankle crossed over a knee and one arm flung along the back of the seat, only tilts his head. His expression gentles around the lines of his eyes.
He could call him back, but Obi-Wan expects this would then turn into a fight — and a fight is the last thing he is trying for. Stars know he's put his foot in his mouth enough times with Anakin. Maybe that self-awareness is what prevents him from provoking Rex now. He came here to apologize, after all.
No, he thinks as he watches Rex rise, that's enough for now. It's only as the boy moves toward the door and the steam becomes a thicker curtain between them, giving the illusion of privacy and the excuse to not hear him at all, that Obi-Wan speaks: ]
[He pauses his huffy exeunt briefly, shifting his gaze downwards as he attempts to get good look at his feet, which is a tad difficult, seeing as those thunder-thighs of his engulf so much surface area. The Jedi's voice is kind, and the man genuinely seems to want to encourage him, but what if he knew?
What if he knew that, if Rex could turn back time and refuse the deal that resulted in so much garish death and bloodshed, he probably wouldn't? Because he would have been without a future, provided no exit from his life of poverty and neglectful household, dead from starvation or incarcerated for petty crimes. He could make the argument that he'd undergo the operation and then fight his captors, before anyone else had to die, but Radcliffe's demise had been an accident, something the terrifying man in a suit never saw coming. Rex had become strong, powerful even...
But only to a point. He succeeded in beating out a number of other superheroes to earn his place amongst the Guardians of the Globe, only to be pulverized and humiliated publicly. Sure, it was his fault for being an asshole, but when will he ever know what it's like? To be truly invincible?
He will only have to work harder. As he stands now, he is unfit to defend the Earth from the horrors of the universe. The team's last scuffle with that overgrown hairball made that clear enough.]
I don't think I can.
[Rex allows himself to let out a sigh before leaving at last, the silhouette of his broad shoulders heaving visible through the steamy haze.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Then why did you say it?
[ He gestures with his left hand, the one not splayed back on the bench, arching an eyebrow wryly. ]
I find it highly unlikely you are looking for pity. Is it meant to be intimidating?
no subject
Even he's left to sit and wonder. Rex's mouth moves first, faster than his mind most days, but on the rare occasion that they fire away in tandem, he's usually down to his last explosive.]
It's not intimidation if it's true!
[The grin he sports is wicked, as the memory stings. Radcliffe was the textbook definition of a horrible person, manipulating a disadvantaged child starved of both food and affection, but he had been the first encouraging voice that Rex had ever heard. A part Rex still misses the disgusting bastard.]
How's the heat Psy-Dick? [...original] You good?
I can always raise the temperature.
no subject
[ Obi-Wan disagrees, completely ignoring the last couple of things Rex says to try and get a rise out of him. Instead, he looks calmly across at him and gestures with the hand that is keeping it's perch around his ankle. ]
That fact that you have survived a frankly harrowing childhood makes you tougher than many people who have not lived anything remotely like it. Why shouldn't that be intimidating?
[ He looks away, brushing an imaginary piece of lint off the towel on his lap. ]
It certainly keeps people at a distance, doesn't it?
no subject
Honestly? I think it's more the, uh, winning personality, but! So what if some people can't take the heat? Most of 'em have got shit taste anyway.
[He cracks a smile there, meeting the Jedi's eyes with his own, bowing his head not out of respect, but a bizarre mixture of whimsy and spite. From the outside, it is all hubris, the face of a professional daredevil about to jump into a tank of sharks.
There is pain beneath the surface still, somewhere at his core, the kind of thing that's lasted so long he should be used to it by now, though it flares up time and time again.]
We're all goin' back home anyway, right? Or well, that's the plan!
In the grand scheme of things, all this? Is no. Big. Deal.
[Quite the contrary.
It is changing him too.]
no subject
Well I suppose you should get comfortable. You'll probably be here for a while.
cw: suicidal ideation
That statement in itself is a mixed bag. In Rex's line of work, being out of shape or out of practice may as well be a death sentence. If he gets kicked to the curb or outed from the Guardians he not only would be humiliated, but out of a place to stay, with no housing or educational prospects. For a boy from the lowest rung of society who never managed to graduate the eighth grade, he'd be fucked. Might as well put a bullet to his head at that point, and even then, he is well aware that he'd be likely to survive. Rex, himself, has a pretty solid handle on his body and his abilities- Six months. He has six months to get out of this place otherwise his livelihood is done for, the catch up game will drive him crazy-]
Are you?
[But in an odd way, he is comfortable. This place is unpredictable and annoying at times, but not as dire as his own world. Rex finds himself eating shit less often and enjoying spending time with Mark, with Invincible of all people, and even that makes him wonder.
If people like himself, Eve, Mark, Kate... Even Robot...
What if they were normal people? Would they be having a good time? Would life be just that, comfortable? God, what would it be like? To have your only concerns be who your date for the prom was going be, to know that safety and financial security was guaranteed. That if he wanted, he could apply to some bullshit place like university, and have time, years to figure out whether he wanted to be an accountant or an engineer.]
Comfortable.
Here.
[Rex does not know the meaning of the word as a civilian would.
He may be the team's resident slacker, but even so, he desires greatness.]
no subject
It has given him the opportunity to meet Cal and help him in his training. It has let him step away from the front of the war — or the end of it, anyway — and remember what it is like to be a person instead of a soldier. More important than anything else, it has let him reconnect with Anakin.
Obi-Wan leans back, pushes his damp hair out of his face and looks up at the hazy wooden planking of the ceiling. The stubborn fringe of his hair stays slicked back for a moment, before falling heavily back against his brow. Is he comfortable? ]
I am... grateful.
[ He admits at length, and closes his eyes, reaching out into the Force to feel the life of the people milling around them beyond the sauna. Reaching out to feel Cal, and Anakin. Reminding himself they are whole and safe. ]
I cannot understate all that I have lost in my timeline. This place has given me opportunities the war never would have allowed. When I return, I doubt anything will change. The wheels in motion cannot be stopped for me — but there are others who may be able to change the course of history with a better understanding of themselves and the world around them.
[ A beat, and he opens his eyes again. ]
Those of us that leave will leave as better versions of ourselves.
[ The suggestion being that, maybe, some of them won't be leaving at all. There were whole civilizations in these train cars. Obi-Wan doesn't think they exist simply as happenstance. ]
no subject
[He sounds confused, but makes no comment on the leaving part just yet. Rex has discussed this with another young man like himself- People from every which way are being pulled in and thrust into a dangerous place. There is no guarantee that others will help them, which means that some are bound to be killed in the process.
And that just doesn't sit right with him.]
Why can't you stop them?
[The wheels.
Rex sits, if rather hesitantly, on that thought. He has often struggled with the machinations of his own heart, feeling as though the destructive onslaught of negative emotions and his own bitterness are unstoppable, but what of his time here? Spent with people like Mark, or even Fukawa. It's less difficult to quit being a total asshole when people offer you empathy or understanding, and that seems... Oddly possible now. Especially in the face of greater atrocities.]
I think you can always throw a wrench in the gears.
Like, maybe it won't change the grand scheme of things...?
[Like when and why you're going to die. Or, even more undeniably, if.
But it is the how that matters.]
But you could at least toss that shit in and say, "Fuck it!" Right? Otherwise you're always gonna be sittin' around wondering what could've been.
no subject
How could he possibly tell Rex that it cannot be stopped because it is quite literally too late? That Anakin has fallen, has had a hand in killing their family? That Palpatine has already taken power, labeled the Jedi as traitors, and single-handedly upended the galaxy as he knew it? All he can do now is go to Mustafar and pray he and Padmé will be enough to bring him to his senses. For if the two of them cannot, all will be lost. ]
Is that how you have approached things so far?
no subject
He knows that he, one person, can't throttle the necks of corporate scum and force them to hand over their millions to the kind of children that suffered like he did. His identity must be kept a secret to keep that invisible target from being beamed into the center of his forehead, but he is living proof that heroes can come from anywhere. Anyplace, any time, any corner of the universe...
Even nothing. And that is something, is it not?]
...Eh, not exactly.
[Honesty is the key to... What the fuck was it? Improvement? Growth?]
But I'd like to.
[He says that not knowing the misery he will be subjected to soon. And yet, in spite of that, he will live up to those words.
Even if he won't live for very long.]
no subject
To make a great leap forward, sometimes all it takes is the will to jump.
no subject
[Jumping, or the art of it, was a skill he had mastered before ever gaining superpowers. Parkouring over cars, losing police officers, and taking the "long way" home with stolen groceries hidden under his ill-fitted jackets... That had been the state in which Radcliffe had found him, and if fate didn't change the course of his life, it would have been where he had stayed. That road, Rex's original path, would have lead to incarceration, starvation, or being hit by the wrong bullet. Funny how, even if he were to be shot square in the head at close range, he'd be able to survive that now.]
I'm always jumping.
[If one were to peek into the recesses of Rex's mind, a recurring scene, an image that would play over and over, would be that of him crouching on a levitating scooter, piloted by Robot, bracing himself for a hundred foot drop, amidst screams and fires and explosions. The height just doesn't phase him anymore, and in some ways, neither does the danger.]
That's my whole life.
I've never really had a choice.
[Rex doesn't say this to garner pity or recognition, with no inkling of the intimidating tone he mustered up before. For the others, they have had their safe, middle-class lives, their loving parents and suburban houses. His childhood home, if one could even call it that, was an abandoned building with a rotting foundation. Rex hadn't thought much of deeds and ownership at the time, but he knows now- His family had been squatting.]
If I stand still? Me? I'd be guaranteed a date with the Grim Reaper.
So, I jump. He misses my ankle by an inch, and I live to see tomorrow.
[He eyes the Jedi with a look of genuine bewilderment. What would it be like? To simply exist without signing your life away to protect the Earth? If he were to retire from being a superhero, he-]
What's it like to be able to stay in one place? Don't ask me! I couldn't tell ya.
[Would not only be unfulfilled, but utterly and royally fucked.]
I wouldn't know.
no subject
Obi-Wan believed in that concept much more firmly before he ended up here with Anakin, and Cal.
But knowing what he knows of this train now, how it is designed to challenge them, and hearing what Rex says leads him to one conclusion. ]
Well, perhaps that's exactly what the train brought you here for.
no subject
[He's encountered it at least four times prior, although this is the first incident where he's the one who's been displaced in such a manner.]
Also? Who gave this Clownductor bastard the right to judge me?! I bet if that dude was in my place, he wouldn't have survived this long! He might have even gone full-on super villain, I know I almost did.
Sure, I could do to be a better person. That's true for anybody! But what if I didn't have superpowers, or know what it's like to survive with limited resources? I'm surprised more people aren't dead right about now. I get that we're supposed to help each other, but not everybody has the time or energy for that.
And why should they, if they're barely makin' ends meet? Some days, bein' alive just feels like a curse.
no subject
[ For in Obi-Wan's mind, this whole business is the will of the Force, and the Force does not seek good or evil, it seeks balance. There are absolutely people here who would not have survived some of those cars without someone else, but that was the point. The journey, not the destination. ]
And I do not think that is the point.
You are here, having these experiences, whether you like it or not. If you are always jumping, as you say, then why not jump into this as well?
no subject
'Cause my legs hurt?
[That they do.
Physically, Rex's skeleton has been altered to sustain incredible amounts of damage, sure. But since it had been normal before, and was designed without Rex's own well-being in mind, that means his joints are prone to hurting from time to time, especially after constantly being pushed to their limits. Most of the pain is concentrated in his lower back, however.
Metaphorically speaking, a lot of the time he wishes that someone else would just take his hand and pull him forward. Eve had tried and he had betrayed her.
He's on his own now.]
Some of the other guys just look like they have it so easy.
no subject
Obi-Wan doesn't even know if Rex realizes what he's doing, the confession disguised as a joke. A first step in the direction he wants but is terrified to go.
He leans forward to pour another scoop of water on the steamer between them, his voice even, factual: ]
It always seems that way when we are working alone.
no subject
[Rex, in his rawest, pulpiest emotional states, is often quick to anger. The defensive mechanism is pure instinct at this point, an emotional reflex.]
I work on a team most of the time, and I still feel like... When it comes down to it? It's just me!
[Now that he no longer has his beautiful, perfect girlfriend to hold his hand and drag his sorry ass out of the mud. Her gentle hands will wipe his tears away and deal with his temper tantrums no longer.
Oh, and who is to blame for that?
Steam blows in front of his face, and yet all he can see is red.]
no subject
Therefore, he doesn't add anything, following a hunch to allow Rex to unwind the rest of the tape wrapped up in his mouth. Instead, he takes his time with the steamer and sits back to look back across at him with infinite, collected patience devoid of any shred of pity. ]
no subject
He folds his arms like an impudent child, realizing what he's just confessed to. It's not as though he doesn't trust the other Guardians. Wildly enough, following an initial onslaught of unpleasant barbs accompanied by an outright dismissal of authority, Rex had done his best to keep the team together in his own way. Samson has the demeanor of a drill sergeant and Robot's hyperfixation on productivity lacks a human element. In that regard, Rex at least understands how to kick back and connect on a personal level... When he actually tries.
Still, without Eve, things just don't feel the same.
Suddenly, Rex rises to his feet.]
I think I've sweat it out enough for one day.
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In lieu of saying anything, Rex retreats into himself. Obi-Wan, leaning back with one ankle crossed over a knee and one arm flung along the back of the seat, only tilts his head. His expression gentles around the lines of his eyes.
He could call him back, but Obi-Wan expects this would then turn into a fight — and a fight is the last thing he is trying for. Stars know he's put his foot in his mouth enough times with Anakin. Maybe that self-awareness is what prevents him from provoking Rex now. He came here to apologize, after all.
No, he thinks as he watches Rex rise, that's enough for now. It's only as the boy moves toward the door and the steam becomes a thicker curtain between them, giving the illusion of privacy and the excuse to not hear him at all, that Obi-Wan speaks: ]
Rest those legs of yours, Rex.
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What if he knew that, if Rex could turn back time and refuse the deal that resulted in so much garish death and bloodshed, he probably wouldn't? Because he would have been without a future, provided no exit from his life of poverty and neglectful household, dead from starvation or incarcerated for petty crimes. He could make the argument that he'd undergo the operation and then fight his captors, before anyone else had to die, but Radcliffe's demise had been an accident, something the terrifying man in a suit never saw coming. Rex had become strong, powerful even...
But only to a point. He succeeded in beating out a number of other superheroes to earn his place amongst the Guardians of the Globe, only to be pulverized and humiliated publicly. Sure, it was his fault for being an asshole, but when will he ever know what it's like? To be truly invincible?
He will only have to work harder. As he stands now, he is unfit to defend the Earth from the horrors of the universe. The team's last scuffle with that overgrown hairball made that clear enough.]
I don't think I can.
[Rex allows himself to let out a sigh before leaving at last, the silhouette of his broad shoulders heaving visible through the steamy haze.]